Emotional Security: Helping Kids Through Big Feelings
All kids have big feelings. Some wear them on their sleeve. Others keep them bottled up. But whether it’s anger, sadness, worry, or frustration, those feelings are a normal part of growing up — and they’re not always easy to handle.
As adults, it can be tempting to rush in and fix things. We might say, “You’re fine” or “Don’t be upset,” thinking we’re helping. But feelings don’t go away just because we tell a child not to feel them. In fact, when big emotions are dismissed or shut down, kids often learn to keep them hidden. And that can make it harder to process them in healthy ways later on.
Emotional security starts with helping kids feel safe to express what they feel — even when it’s messy, loud, or uncomfortable.
Disclaimer: This blog is for general information only. If your child is experiencing emotional distress, please reach out to a psychologist, school counsellor, or health professional for support.
Let them name what they’re feeling
Young children often don’t have the words to explain what’s going on inside. That’s where you come in. Try putting words to what they might be feeling: “It sounds like you’re really frustrated” or “Are you feeling nervous about tomorrow?”
Labelling emotions helps kids understand them. It teaches them that emotions are something they can talk about, not something they have to hide.
Validate the emotion, not the behaviour
It’s okay for your child to feel angry. It’s not okay to throw toys at their sibling. You can hold both truths at once by separating the feeling from the action: “It’s okay to feel angry. It’s not okay to hit.”
This approach helps kids feel heard without letting their emotions drive behaviour that hurts others.
Stay calm and present
Big feelings can trigger big reactions — not just in kids, but in us too. When your child is overwhelmed, they need you to be their anchor. That doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. It just means slowing down your response.
A calm tone, gentle body language, and a quiet presence can do more than a lecture ever will. Sometimes, just sitting beside your child until the wave passes is enough.
Give them tools to self-regulate
As your child gets older, you can help them build their own toolbox for calming down. This might include:
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Taking deep breaths together
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Drawing or scribbling out the feeling
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Moving their body (e.g. jumping, stretching, walking)
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Using a “calm down corner” with favourite books or soft toys
Not every tool works for every kid, but with time and patience, they’ll learn what helps them feel more in control.
Keep the door open
After a meltdown, don’t rush to “move on.” Talk about what happened once your child is calm: “You were really upset earlier. Do you want to talk about it?”
This shows them that it’s okay to reflect and that you’re someone they can always come to — no matter how intense the emotion.
Final thoughts on emotional security
Big feelings don’t need to be scary. When kids know they’re safe to feel them, name them, and talk about them, they grow up with a stronger sense of emotional security. And that’s something they’ll carry with them for life.
For more tips and tricks on topics like this deep dive into emotional security feel free to contact us or refer to our Dewey Does blog.
Don’t forget, if your whole family wants to look amazing while you’re out there living your best life, we make a whole range of inspiring novelty tees that can add a touch of fun and color. Speaking of fun and color, be sure to check out our super cool interactive logo!
While you’re here, we’d really love to hear what you have to say about fostering emotional security. Drop us your two cents below.
Hi, Team Does. I get all my sports news and updates from my friend Tommy Ommy, host of Straight from the Basement Sports Podcast. Be sure to follow him wherever you get your podcasts, and check out his YouTube channel for sports news and conversations - Dewey.
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