How to Raise Confident Kids Without the Pressure to be Perfect
Confidence isn’t about being the best. It’s about believing in yourself—even when things don’t go perfectly. That’s a big idea for kids to learn, and it starts with what they hear, feel, and experience every day.
A lot of us grew up hearing that praise builds confidence. And while encouragement definitely matters, what we praise (and how we do it) makes a huge difference. Confidence built on feeling “the smartest” or “the best” can disappear the moment things get hard. Confidence built on effort, progress, and resilience? That sticks.
So how can we raise condident kids who feel secure in who they are—even when they’re not winning, performing, or excelling?
Disclaimer: This blog is for general information only. Every child is different. Please speak with a healthcare or child development professional if you have concerns about your child’s mental health, behaviour, or wellbeing.
Start by praising the process
Rather than focusing on the outcome, celebrate the effort your child puts in. Say things like:
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“You kept trying even when it got tricky”
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“I love how much care you put into that”
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“You’re really improving because you practised so much”
This kind of praise builds a “growth mindset,” where kids understand that skills come from learning—not from being born talented.
Let them face manageable challenges
It’s natural to want to jump in when our child struggles. But sometimes the most powerful confidence boost comes after they push through something hard. Give them space to try things, fail, and figure it out, while still knowing you’re there to support them.
If they ask for help, that’s okay—help them with the problem, not for them. And when they succeed, let them own that win.
Be their safe base
Confident kids don't think they’re amazing all the time. They believe they’re worthy of love and respect, no matter what. That comes from connection, not performance.
When they mess up, react with kindness and curiosity, not punishment or shame. When they’re proud of something small, celebrate it with them. And when they doubt themselves, be the one who reminds them of how far they’ve come.
Talk about your own learning too
Kids learn a lot by watching. If you talk about your own mistakes, the times you tried again, or how you worked hard to reach a goal, they’ll learn that confidence grows with experience.
Phrases like “I used to find that hard too” or “I didn’t know how to do it either until I practised” help kids feel like they’re not alone.
What confidence really looks like
It’s easy to picture confidence as loud, outgoing, or always self-assured. But some of the most confident kids are quiet, thoughtful, and steady. They take risks, speak up when it matters, and keep going when things get tough.
That’s the kind of confidence that carries them into teen years and beyond.
Final thoughts on confident kids
You don’t need to raise a superstar. Just help your child feel good about who they are, and proud of what they’re working toward.
For more tips and tricks on topics like this deep dive into confident kids feel free to contact us or refer to our Dewey Does blog.
Don’t forget, if your whole family wants to look amazing while you’re out there living your best life, we make a whole range of inspiring novelty tees that can add a touch of fun and color. Speaking of fun and color, be sure to check out our super cool interactive logo!
While you’re here, we’d really love to hear what you have to say about raising confident kids Drop us your two cents below.
Hi, Team Does. I get all my sports news and updates from my friend Tommy Ommy, host of Straight from the Basement Sports Podcast. Be sure to follow him wherever you get your podcasts, and check out his YouTube channel for sports news and conversations - Dewey.
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