The Power of Praise: What to Say and What to Skip

We all want our kids to feel good about themselves. And for many parents, praise feels like the easiest way to show encouragement and build confidence. But what we praise — and how we say it — can shape the way children see themselves more than we realise.

Telling your child they’re amazing might feel like the right move. But sometimes, generic or constant praise can backfire. If kids only hear “You’re so smart” or “You’re the best” over and over, they can start to worry about what happens when they’re not those things. What happens if they make a mistake? Or don’t win? Will they still be good enough?

The kind of praise that helps most is the kind that builds internal confidence. It’s about noticing effort, celebrating progress, and encouraging resilience. Let's dive into positive ways of praising kids.

What effectively praising kids sounds like

Not all praise is created equal. Here’s what helps kids the most:

• Be specific
  Instead of “Good job,” try “You put a lot of thought into that drawing” or “I saw how carefully you built that tower.”

• Focus on effort, not just ability
  “You really stuck with that even when it was tricky” is better than “You’re so talented.”

• Point out growth
  Remind your child of how far they’ve come. “Last month you found that really hard, and now you’re doing it with no help.”

• Notice their process
  Praise how they approached something — how they planned, solved problems, or worked through frustration.

These small shifts help kids feel in control of their own learning and development. They start to believe that trying matters, that challenges are worth tackling, and that their value isn’t tied to being perfect.

What to be careful of

It’s easy to fall into the habit of over-praising or using empty phrases. Here are a few things to keep in mind:

• Avoid overdoing it
  Constant praise can lose its meaning. If everything is amazing, kids can start to question whether you really mean it.

• Skip the pressure labels
  Labels like “You’re the smartest” or “You’re the best player” might sound positive, but they create pressure to live up to that title.

• Watch your tone during mistakes
  When your child messes up, it’s not the time for sarcasm or silence. Instead, use it as a teaching moment: “Mistakes help us learn. What can we try next time?”

Model healthy self-talk

Kids learn by example. Let them hear you praise your own effort. Say things like “That was a tough day, but I’m proud I kept going” or “I made a mistake, but I’ll try it a different way tomorrow.”

By hearing this, kids start to understand that effort is valuable, mistakes are part of learning, and confidence comes from doing, not just being told.

Final thoughts on praising kids

Praise isn’t about inflating egos. It’s about helping kids see their own progress and believe in their ability to keep growing. When done well, a few simple words can go a long way in helping children feel seen, valued, and supported.

For more tips and tricks on topics like this deep dive into praising kids feel free to contact us or refer to our Dewey Does blog. 

Don’t forget, if your whole family wants to look amazing while you’re out there living your best life, we make a whole range of inspiring novelty tees that can add a touch of fun and color. Speaking of fun and color, be sure to check out our super cool interactive logo!

While you’re here, we’d really love to hear what you have to say about your tips for praising kids. Drop us your two cents below.

Hi, Team Does. I get all my sports news and updates from my friend Tommy Ommy, host of Straight from the Basement Sports Podcast. Be sure to follow him wherever you get your podcasts, and check out his YouTube channel for sports news and conversations - Dewey.

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