No one wants their child to be labeled as a “sore loser.” But for many kids, handling defeat gracefully isn’t something that comes naturally—it’s a skill they need to learn. If you’re fed up with the frustrated outbursts, the “it’s not fair” complaints, or the refusal to try again, you’re not alone.
Studies show that kids who learn how to lose well are better prepared for challenges, teamwork, and problem-solving as they grow. So, how can we help them develop resilience while keeping their competitive edge?
Here are seven effective ways to help your child stop being a sore loser and start embracing every game as a chance to learn, no matter the outcome.
7 ways to prevent your child from being a sore loser
Here are our 7 tips to avoid raising a sore loser.
Model healthy competition
Kids pick up on our reactions, whether we realize it or not. If we’re quick to point fingers, grumble about a loss, or dismiss the winners, they’ll mirror those behaviors. Instead, show them what it looks like to shake hands, congratulate others, and see the bigger picture.
Whether you win or lose, comment on the effort put in, the teamwork involved, or how much fun you had. This way, they see that losing isn’t about feeling defeated—it’s all about handling it with grace.
Focus on effort, not just results
Instead of only celebrating a win, praise the hard work, the improvements, or the clever moves they made, win or lose. By emphasizing effort, you’re teaching them that their value doesn’t come from winning alone.
For example, say something like, “I loved how you kept trying even when it got tough.” When they see that effort matters just as much (if not more!) than results, they’re less likely to spiral when they lose.
Set realistic expectations
Help your child understand that losing is part of any game. You can start with something like, “Everyone has a chance to win or lose in a game, and today might not go our way—and that’s okay!”
It normalizes the experience of losing, making it feel less like a personal failure and more like a normal part of playing. When they know that losing doesn’t mean they did something wrong, they’re more likely to handle it calmly.
Encourage a growth mindset
Teach your child that each loss is an opportunity to learn. Maybe they can figure out a new strategy or improve on something for next time. You might say, “What could we try differently next game?”
This approach helps them see that losing isn’t a dead end—it’s a stepping stone. With a growth mindset, they start viewing losses as chances to learn, rather than blows to their self-esteem.
Practice empathy for the winners
Encourage them to think about how the winning team or player feels. It’s a great opportunity to talk about how others might have worked hard too and deserve recognition.
Something like, “I bet they’re really proud of how they played” can help shift their focus from their own disappointment to an appreciation for others’ efforts. Practicing empathy makes it easier for them to congratulate others without resentment.
Teach self-regulation techniques
If you see them getting upset, encourage a few deep breaths or a quick step away to calm down. Having a tool to manage those intense emotions can prevent a meltdown before it starts.
You might even make it a game: “When we feel frustrated, let’s try three big, deep breaths together.” Practicing these in non-competitive moments can help make it a habit when they’re feeling heated.
Reframe losing as progress
Our final tip to avoid your child being known as a sore loser is to remind them that every game they play, they’re getting better, even if they don’t win. Say things like, “Each time you play, you’re learning and growing, no matter the outcome.” By reframing losing as a sign of growth, they’re more likely to stay positive and keep trying, knowing they’re always moving forward.
Final thoughts on avoiding raising a sore loser
Raising a child who can handle losing gracefully isn’t about taking away their competitive spirit; it’s about teaching them to value effort, respect others, and see setbacks as growth opportunities.
With patience and practical guidance, you can help them learn to bounce back, keep trying, and approach every game with a positive mindset - and never be known as a sore loser!
Please note that any advice shared here is general in nature, and we recommend checking in with a professional in regard to your child’s needs.
For more tips and tricks on topics like this deep dive into sore losers. Feel free to contact us or read our Dewey Does blog.
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Hi, Team Does. I get all my sports news and updates from my friend Tommy Ommy, host of Straight from the Basement Sports Podcast. Be sure to follow him wherever you get your podcasts, and check out his YouTube channel for sports news and conversations - Dewey.
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